The One Where I Talk About The NICU

by Rumour Miller on April 24, 2009

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Both of my sweet baby girls are NICU graduates  I never even considered that I would be a NICU Mama.  When Piper was born it took me completely by surprise.  Piper spent 12 days in the NICU and I was exhausted.  I felt the need to be there.  All. The. Time.

I was a walking zombie.  
I was attempting to nurse, so I was pumping every three hours around the clock and healing from a c-section.  I would wake in the morning, rush to get ready and spend my time at the NICU.  Craig was getting up early so he could be at the NICU before work (6:00 a.m. or earlier) spend time with Piper and then go to work.  My Mom was with us and if it wasn’t for her, I don’t think we would have eaten all week.
With Piper hooked up to all the monitors, I was nervous to hold her.  
When I did hold her, she was like a glass doll.  I was afraid to move her and tangle the cords and wires.  This was not how my first few days of  being a new Mama were supposed to be.  This was not what our babymoon was supposed to be like.  We were going to cuddle together in our bed and coo at our precious new bundle.
Then Piper came home and it was sweeter than we ever thought it could be.
When Davilyn was born, I was much more prepared for the NICU experience.  I had 8 months to get ready.  My instincts told me that Davilyn would be early… I.Just.Knew.  I wasn’t as focused on nursing Davilyn.  I was pumping around the clock, but I wasn’t going to let it dictate the length of her stay in the NICU, like it had Piper’s.  She was free to be fed formula and I would pump and work on nursing.  Davilyn nursed a few times, with no success.  I pumped at home for over a month before I gave it up.  After a month, I was still producing very little.
I can’t nurse… another post for another day.
I was up and moving around (and moving around well) after my c-section with Davilyn.  I spent most of my time in the NICU with her.  I would wake in the middle of the night and want so badly to have her with me, that I would get up and go to the NICU.  She would be sleeping peacefully and I would sit beside her stroking her hand or her cheek.  I would often arrive in time to feed her.  When she was able, I would try nursing… and finish with a bottle.  Davilyn spent 9 days in the NICU.  On the 8th day, we thought she might come home.  I went to the NICU expecting to bring her home. When I was told, “She won’t be released until tomorrow.”  I cried.  
I am very aware of how lucky and blessed I am.  Both my daughters left the NICU after less than two weeks.  Both my daughters are thriving, bubbly, happy little girls.  Both my daughters are sleeping peacefully in their rooms.
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sky girl April 25, 2009 at 8:16 am

I have utmost respect for NICU moms. I can’t imagine how hard it would be.

Soralis April 26, 2009 at 12:58 am

Not a great way to start out as a new mom, but I am so glad it turned out for you.

My boys were in the NICU for 5 days and I couldn’t go see them due to the issues I was having. I was heart broken that I couldn’t be with my babies. I couldn’t imagine having to spend much time in the NICU though, it must have been rough. I was very lucky that the second time around my baby was with me from the time she was born, truly a much better experience.


Piccinigirl April 28, 2009 at 1:49 pm

I have to say that my NICU experinece wasn’t too bad, and I wasn’t there always, I let them sleep, I let them grow etc. The 10 days gave me time to get used to being a mom and lots of help with diapers and crying and parenting. Mr Kir and I always say that those 10 days were a “gift” to us, even though you don’t wish it on anyone, it would be nice if every couple got that kind of “help” with a new baby and enough time before they came home to know things you don’t get in 24 hrs. (I also know that some babies are very sick in the NICU and that’s sooo stressful and of course a different post from me if that was the case) but after the IF, the IVF, the bedrest etc, the NICU was life saving for me. Time to get used to being a mom.


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