Month 12 – Letter to Davilyn

by Rumour Miller on June 1, 2009

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Dearest Davilyn ~ HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY, BOO!

The other night as we were trying to get you to sleep, I found myself wondering what happened to our great sleeper.  You resist bedtime on your own these days and sometimes (like a few nights ago) wake often and refuse to go back to sleep in your crib!  We were so tired.  We tried everything, including bringing you to bed.  You don’t really understand the family bed concept and quickly thought that you should wake Piper and try to play.  You ended up in your crib, where we let you cry.  Thankfully the crying did not last long and you slept through until 7:30 in the morning.  
It’s hard to believe that you joined our family one year ago because it feels as though you have just always been here.  I guess in a way you always were.  The thought of you has been with us for as long as we can remember.  Once again, the smallest of beings , 7lbs 1oz, grabbed hold of our hearts… Our sun now sets and rises to two little girls… Our sun sets and rises to you.
I am so amazed that I had any involvement in your creation… something so perfect.  I have so many hopes and dreams for you.  So many things that I want you to see and do.  I have so many things that I wish for you, but mostly I wish that your life is just as you want it to be.  I wish for you a life of happiness and love.
I am so very excited as we near the end of this chapter in your life and embark on the toddler years.  I look forward to your personality and your independence developing.  I can already see some strong traits emerging and you are becoming YOU.
You never took to sleeping in our bed and that has been very bittersweet for me.  Something that I never dreamed I would be saying.  I love that you are a great little sleeper all on your own… but I miss that extra snuggle and cuddle that comes with sharing sleeping quarters.  There are nights when you are having trouble sleeping and all I want is for you to cuddle up to me and sleep.  I want you to know that if ever you decide that you want to sleep next to us, you are always welcome.  No matter how old you are.  I will always pull back the sheets to let you in…
Before I know it you will be in daycare… and then starting school.  You will give us a hug and a kiss and not a backward glance as you join your friends in your new classroom.  As much as I will have joy at watching you do these things, my heart aches just a little bit to know just how quickly time goes by.
Before I know it, you will be far too embarrassed by any display of public affection and then even being seen with us will no longer be cool.  It’s so hard to believe that those days are ahead of us… but they are.  Instead of asking us for a ride to the movies, you will be asking us for the keys to the car.  Or you and Piper will be fighting over the keys to the car.  We will be left sitting on the couch, just your Daddy and I, wondering when exactly it was that our baby girl grew up.
I think about your future and I wonder if you will be like your Daddy and move thousands of miles from home… even though this would break my heart, I would let you go.  I might eventually move in next door, but I would let you go.
So for now, I kiss you whenever I can.  I kiss your head, your belly, your feet, your nose, your knees and your toes.  I kiss your sticky little hands and your slobbery little mouth.  I do this often.  Multiple times a day, because before I know it, you won’t want me to be doing this at all. You will be far too busy and off doing too many things.  
It’s hard to believe right now, Davilyn, but there will come a time in your life when you will be completely embarrassed by the fact that your Daddy kicks back in his boxer shorts and your Mommy sings out loud and off key.  You will be mortified, but we will still do it anyway (and we will totally enjoy every minute of it) and Davilyn, when you have a family of your own, you will know why.
My hope is that my letters to you will be there during our hardest times together.  When you stomp off to your room in anger that you will remember how very much you are loved.  That you are very much wanted.  My hope is that when you hit your tween and teen years that these letters will be a source of comfort to you during times when you are confused.  That they will comfort you during those times when you are discovering exactly who you are.  I hope that our relationship does not become strained and distant like some Mother and daughters and I promise to work very hard every day so that does not happen.
I promise to you that I will always tell you what you mean to me.  That I prayed to have you in my life and that my love for you grew long before you did.  Your Daddy and I carried you in our hearts for a long time before we were able to carry you in our arms.
So, Bugaboo, this is the happiest of days for us and a reason to put on our party dresses and our dancing shoes.  Happy 1st Birthday, Happy 1st Birthday, Happy 1st Birthday dear Davilyn… Happy 1st Birthday to you!
Mommy loves you, Boo,
Love Mommy.
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Jen June 1, 2009 at 1:57 pm

Happy Birthday baby girl!!

Piccinigirl June 9, 2009 at 10:35 am

Oh again Rumor, You GOT me. *tears streaming down my face* *wondering what my coworkers think of me* Got me.

that was beautiful and poignant and so heartfelt that my heart squeezes with love for you and your Davilyn.

Happy Birthday Birthday Girl!!!!

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