I have seen this article by Lisa Bloom, How to Talk to Little Girls, on my Facebook feed. I clicked it and I took a read.
I do not agree with the entire article. As a Mama of 3 Divas, I worry about all kinds of things. I worry about secrets that my Divas may be asked to keep from me or their Daddy. I worry about mean girls and that my Divas may be a target of one at some time in their life. I worry about tragic accidents and stubbed toes. Broken arms and a bloody nose. I worry.
I do worry about the possibility of one of my 3 Divas thinking that she does not measure up. That she is not good enough. I worry that one of them will feel this way about her abilities in school or at play. That one of them will feel this way about her very own body. Sure that stuff crosses my mind.
It does affect how I interact with them but I still tell them that they are gorgeously beautiful! That their smile shines and those pretty little toes with paint on them make me melt. I tell them this because, my friends, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and my Divas are STUNNING. In every way.
I love Piper’s athletic build, Davilyn’s dainty dancer build and Quinn’s chubby kissable legs. They are each their own beautiful individuals and, yes, their appearance is part of that package.
I let my girls wear Mama’s makeup when we are in the bathroom getting ready in the morning. I give them lip gloss and lip balm and rosy cheeks. Yes, I am that mother. I draw the line at glamour shots and Toddlers in Tiaras or eye waxing and fake tans. They will not wear push up bras and thong underwear (so long as they live under my roof 😉 ) and string bikinis will not be allowed in their dresser drawers.
I am of the strong opinion that my Divas need a healthy dose of encouragement and compliments when it comes to everything about them. You are beautiful and I love your cute little hair do but mostly I love your big smile, your big heart and your determination.
I love that Quinn has a dimple and Piper has eyes the same colour as me. I love that Davilyn has eyes of blue that will make you coo. I love these things about them because it is part of their genetic makeup and part of what makes them uniquely them.
I do not think that the answer is not to say these things to them but to educate them. It is their differences that I love so much. They look different, talk different, have different interests and talents and I love that.
I already know that society is going to make a big deal out of these things, so I choose not to. Skinny, fat, … are not words that I use to describe my Divas. Smart, funny, goofy and beautiful. Stunning. Cute. My job, as their Mama, is to educate them that our size does not matter. That no matter how hard I try, my feet will never fit into a size 6 pump. And that is okay. It is my job to give them the basics and start them off knowing that eating healthy and getting exercise is important (and not because you do not want to get fat) so that you can live a long, active life and continue to do all the things that you love to do.
It is my job to educate them that they are beautiful because I want them to think that they are beautiful and believe that they are beautiful…. because they are… even if that boy in their 10th grade math class doesn’t think so.