Is this week.
You know how infertility has touched my life.
Had, at times, stripped me of hope and dreams.
Made me feel alone and defeated.
Made me hate the body I was given.
Talking about it brings me back to that time in our life. In our marriage. Those feelings come rushing back and I remember how I dreaded pregnancy announcements and birth announcements. Despite how happy I was for my friend or family member I was just that sad about my infertility.
I was just that sad. I missed out on so many celebrations because once I heard the news my own circumstances overshadowed the joy that I otherwise would have felt. That sounds extremely selfish and maybe it is but until one knows the pain of infertility they cannot possibly imagine how they would react in those circumstances.
I don’t blog about infertility like I used to when I was living it. The emotions aren’t as raw as they once were and I have been blessed to have resolved infertility with the birth of my three healthy daughters. However, I could never forget. I could never forget the valuable resources I found online through many blogs and messages boards.
It’s important to know that you are not alone even when you feel that way. It was important to me to hear success stories and know that I wasn’t the only one in the trenches infertility. To hear from someone that I should just relax or watch what I was eating was maddening. Tell me ways I could increase my infertility was insulting. At least for me it was. I was infertile, not stupid or uneducated. Infertile. I had… have a medical diagnosis and no amount of relaxing or watching what I eat will change that. Oh I know those people meant well but it still hurt and i found myself wishing I could talk to someone who was in the trenches because they wouldn’t try to cure me or diagnose me.
I want my blog to be a source of support and some information for those of you still knee deep in the trenches of infertility. Heaven knows I found so much information, support and kinship on many blogs.
- http://www.resolve.org/infertility101 (Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.)
- http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html (About NIAW