I am preparing my 2013 year in review post sitting in my sister’s living room. Being here was the farthest thing from my mind this time last year. Craig and I sat watching our family home videos from 2011 and my heart caught in my throat. Am I capturing enough of these memories for us. For the girls. I can do more.
We welcomed 2013 with new friends and played board games. We realized pretty quickly how our family would come to love them and as I sit here tonight…. I miss them. I miss them. How is it that after deciding to move so long ago, leaves our hearts in ache. We have left many wonderful friends behind and that has been hard. For us all.
Both Piper and Davilyn played Ringette and it was an awesome year. I loved watching our two big girls skating together. Kinda wishing that Quinn was old enough to play too and thinking that it would be such a neat thing to see all three of my girls in the same colour jersey, playing on the same team. A dream that is unlikely to come to fruition because of their ages. A proud Mom can dream.
2013 was another good year at The Rumour Mill and in our home. March brings the start of birthday season for us. My big girl, Piper, turned 7. My little girl, Quinn celebrated year number three and in June my Doodle Bug turned 5. I am always amazed at life when I sit here at my computer detailing our year in review. How I wish my cup of patience was running over when the reality is that I am a tired, wife, exhausted full-time lawyer, fuller time Mom and my patience isn’t as abundant as I would like it to be. My goal for 2014 is to find that patience once again. I used to have it and my kids deserve it. My mantra continues to be,
The days seem long but the years are short.
I have to repeat these words daily. A constant reminder that each day in 2013 seemed so long. Hearing the clock tick and wondering if the day will ever end so we can rest our weary heads. Close our eyes. But as I sit here on the eve of 2014, I am wondering where 2013 went. The year was short.
We finished off a great Ringette season, not knowing that it would be our last year playing with such wonderful kids and families. It’s for the best that we don’t know these things at the time.
We enjoyed our seasonal campsite this year just a little less than last. It seems the weather wasn’t as nice and the rain kept us away more than we would have liked. It was a colder summer and we didn’t see much of our camping family like we had the year before. It’s not the way that I would have liked the season to have gone but we managed to capture some wonderful memories… like the campground potluck supper in the down pouring rain. We were soaked before we even left our camp site, but it didn’t stop us from joining the festivities.
Despite running into another family around town, we never actually met them until 2013. Upon meeting, we became fast friends. Fast. It left me wondering why that was in our plan. Knowing that for our family, Craig and I were working on a move away from Manitoba. But this couple. This family was so meant to be in our life. It just saddens me that we were coming into each other’s lives just as both families were planning moves away from the community we were living in. Then, as I was catching up on family videos from 2011, the husband and children make a cameo in Davilyn’s soccer video. And I am left wondering again, why 2013 and not 2011. I guess it goes to show, that 2013 in fact did bring our family some pretty wonderful gifts.
We spent most of the summer in work hell for Craig as each of our weekends were eaten up by an over demanding supervisor. Cellphone calls. Late nights and last-minute requests for him to go to the shop… for nothing. It was a frustrating summer for us in that regard and I was constantly reminding myself that it wasn’t Craig I was angry with but his job. We were also in the midst of making a move happen, from Manitoba to Ontario. He started the interview process in June and we didn’t accept a job offer until September resulting in a move in October. It was a long summer wondering if we were making the right decision or if the risks were, well too risky.
The summer passed and fall arrived. On the eve of the first day of school, I sat in our living room with Craig choking back tears. All three of my girls were going to some form of school. My Piper was starting grade 2, in a 2/3 split. Davilyn ran off to kindergarten without so much as a thought about how this was hard for me. She was more than ready and I was ready for her. My true test arrived two weeks later when our little Quinn started preschool three mornings a week. After watching her two sisters do this for most of her life, she was itching to have her turn.
I blinked and three years were gone, just like that. Just like that.
I dropped her on her first day, got in my car and I cried. We had officially said goodbye to baby’s and toddlers. Our last was now a preschooler. There are no do – overs in 2013. No flux capacitor for my car to take me back a few years, a few days or even a few minutes. That was it.
It wasn’t long after all of this excitement that we shook things up real good and announced to the girls that we were moving away from Manitoba to Ontario. I will never forget the excitement, the tears and the fears. I will never forget sitting in Davilyn’s bedroom listening to her heart break as she cried about the friends that she was leaving behind. As she cried that they would forget her. My heart broke too, because in those words of my five year old was truth. It’s true. It is very likely that her friends will not remember her and she may never hear from them again. It’s true. She is too young to understand that this will happen to her many times in her life. For reasons she may or may not ever know. So wise were the words of that five year old.
Piper held her feelings in. I know she misses her best friend. I miss her for her. But all of my girls arrived in Ontario and took their new schools by storm. They made friends quickly and it was as though we had always been here. Piper is playing hockey again. Davilyn is hit and miss with the sport but they both miss Ringette so much. They miss their Ringette family and playing together. Quinn misses our big house and our basement big enough for her to ride her Mini Cooper. It is an adjustment, no question but we moved here a family and we will get through it as a family. We will put our feet down in our own home soon and our roots will start to grow. We will make sure of that.
When I first sat down to write this review, I was almost thinking that 2013 wasn’t out of the ordinary… but it was. All of it was. All of our memories were out of the ordinary and that out of the ordinary resulted in a pretty big move for us all. We celebrated Christmas living in my “home town” and we all have our health. We have each other. When our house seems in chaos (it is!) but we are so blessed to have each other. As I sit here, ready to say goodbye to 2013 and welcome 2014, I glance over my shoulder to a life we left behind. And I smile because I have all those memories and future waiting for me if I just look ahead.
My wish for all of you is to love the moments that you are in and recognize them for what they are. Chaotic bedtimes, early mornings, rushed suppers, hours spent in cold arenas, sisters fighting, children crying, cuddles on the couch and Wet Oatmeal Kisses . Because before you know it, you will be sitting on the eve of another year and wondering where the last has gone. Be in the moment that is your life and feel full. Full of love, full of blessings and full of happiness. To all of you, a prosperous New Year.
“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language, and next year’s words await another voice.” – T.S. Eliot