As in mine.
I am turning 40 this month, and mostly I haven’t had a chance to think about it. Except when I do.
And I still feel young… but I remember when I thought 40 was old. Or at least thought it was a long long way away and I could not imagine that day.
Turning 40 doesn’t make me feel old so much as it makes me feel human. As in, my days on this earth are numbered and only God knows what that number is.
The thought of growing old doesn’t scare me so much as the thought of running out of days. I’m running out of days and I don’t know how many I have left. None of us do. I wake up at night thinking about it. Fast forwarding to graduations, special events, birthdays and weddings. Willing myself to see me there in the future, but I have no idea if the number of my days includes high school graduations and wedding days but I’m praying that it does.
I am turning 40 this month and aside from the occasional back ache and the fact I can’t drink all night anymore, I don’t feel like I’ve aged at all. But I have and it’s around these milestones birthdays that I hope I didn’t spend my best days with my nose in Law books and getting my career off the ground. That my best days are now and still ahead of me. That my best days include prom and graduations of three beautiful girls and University drop offs. That my best days include three weddings and three beautiful wedding gowns. That my best days include grandchildren and spending my retirement days with Craig.
Because in this world when the only thing that is certain is uncertainty, I pray that as I turn 40 my best days are still yet to be.
