I have a confession to make

by Rumour Miller on January 24, 2006

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While Craig and I were trying to conceive, deep down inside (somewhere really deep because I know how insane this is going to sound) I secretly hoped and wished that we would conceive triplets. Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

I just thought that if we could have three at once, we would never ever have to go through the hell of infertility ever again. And, if by God’s good grace, we had one more to give us four then I would win. LMAO. (I can be very competitive and I keep telling Craig that we should have four children – he insists two or three will suffice).

This is what was going through my mind when struggling to conceive one child. I now know that Craig and I would be “hiding out” in panic as to what three babies at once one would do to our lives. Aside from the pure joy that parenthood will bring to us…. we would surely be heading to Psych ward or something similar to it.

We are now in the stage of our pregnancy where we are constantly talking about the “big change” that awaits our lives this spring. We are in a state of joyous panic. Every now and again we admit, outloud (to only eachother), that we are scared, nervous and anxious.

Am I old enough to care for a new born?
Am I mature enough?
Will I know when to feed her, bath her, rock her, or let her cry?
Will I know when to take her to the Doctor or the walk in clinic?
Will I forget her in the car and run into Timmy’s for my coffee and then crap my pants because “holy shit, I just forgot my baby in the car”!
Will I get enough sleep?
Will I get enough Craig time?
Will I get enough alone time?
How will Molson adjust to sharing his Mommy and Daddy?

And just now, after all this time and this amazing pregnancy journey, am I saying…


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Jenna January 24, 2006 at 3:56 pm

I think you answered your own question about having 3 babies at once. Just think, I was only 3 years old when my mom had my twin brothers. Imagine dealing with a 3 year old and 2 crying babies!!! And then my sister came along. Imagine dealing with a newborn, 3 year old twins and a six year old!!

Jenna January 24, 2006 at 4:00 pm

Oh, and another quick question. Now that you and Craig know the baby is a girl…..are we still calling her “Pea”???? Have you guys come up with any names?? ….cough…..cough….Jenna….cough cough…. ;o)

Sweet Soul January 24, 2006 at 4:54 pm

LMAO……be careful what you wish for….Next time around it might just be triplets…and you’ll get the four that you want! hahahaha

Ladybug Ann January 25, 2006 at 10:21 am

I’m glad that you confessed! Here we are, still trying to conceive after 15 months, I felt really bad the other day because I felt doubts about whether I am up to standards to be a mother. It was weird to want this from the very core of me and yet have fear if I would mess a child’s life up. All the more poignant when I am likely facing the red end of another failed cycle.

BonnyT January 25, 2006 at 2:29 pm

Could I imagine?

Holy effing crap…NO.

Just remember to take every little bit of help that someone offers you, and you’ll be fine. The rest will just fall into place…

Ashley January 26, 2006 at 9:05 pm

I can’t explain how incredibly hard I laughed at this entry. Ahahaha.

I have all the same fears about Draevyn, especially with him being a preemie. I don’t have the husband and the dog to worry about, but maybe we can help each other along after Pea is born šŸ™‚

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