It was December 2003 when we tossed away the birth control.
All forms of it and said to eachother, “Let’s have a baby.”
I think that Craig was quite nervous about the whole thing. The first time we had sex with no birth control, knowing that we were purposefully trying to make a baby – I know that deep down inside he was freaked right out that it would happen right then and there. And then what?
Oh my god, what the hell did we know? Nothing, not a damn thing.
Three months later and about two home pregnancy tests a week, I still did not have my period. We were oh so effing confused. Totally clueless about why the tests were negative and I had not had a period since December.
Our new family physican, god bless her, was so certain that we must be pregnant. Until the clinic pregnancy test kept turning up negative and the blood work was negative too. But damn that woman remained hopeful and cheerful and I just wanted to jump right in that boat with her!
It wasn’t until my first appointment with my OBGYN, two months later, that we realized this was going to be long long road. And even then… we were effing clueless.
I still think back to that December when Craig and I were so sure that without birth control we would be producing off sprng like crazy and I smile. I smile at how naive we were, how in love we were and how scared we were at the idea of becoming parents. I also giggle a bit too because I can still see the “holy shit we are really doing this” look on Craig’s face. Alway reminded why I love him so much.
