What did you do all day?

Craig came home from work yesterday
and found Piper outside, still in her
pajamas playing in the mud,
with empty food jars and bottles strewn all
around the front yard.

The door of my van was open,
as was our front door to the
house and there was no sign of Molson.
Proceeding into the entry, Craig
found an even bigger mess.
A lamp had been knocked over, and
the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was
loudly blaring the cartoon channel
treehouse, and our family room was littered
with toys, dog bones and our laundry.

In the kitchen, the dishes filled the sink,
breakfast food was spilled on the counter,
the fridge door was open wide,
dog food was spilled on the floor,
a broken glass lay under the table,
and a small pile of dirty diapers lay by the back
door. Craig quickly headed down the hallway,
stepping over the toys and more piles of clothes,
looking for me. He was worried that I might be ill,
or that something bad had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made
its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside
he found wet towels, toys and more dirty diapers on
the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and baby
shampoo had been smeared all over the counter top.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found me still in bed
in my pajamas, reading my people magazine. I looked
up at him, smiled, and asked him how his day was.

He looked at me bewildered and asked, “What happened
here today?”

I just smiled and answered, “You know every day when
you come home from work and you ask me what in the
world I do all day?”

“Yes,” was his incredulous reply.

I answered, “Well, today I didn’t do it.”

*******************************************

Obviously the above is meant to be a joke. I did not,
I repeat did not leave my six month old to fend for
herself yesterday.