The one where I talk about the NICU

by Rumour Miller on February 12, 2010

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And how I would really like to avoid a stop there this time.

I am really longing to have my baby and to bond with her from the very beginning. To have her with me from the start and to take her home when I am discharged from the hospital. I don’t want to have to visit her while she has a stay in the NICU. I want her at home where she belongs getting to know her family and letting her family get to know her.

I may never get to satisfy this longing… and it hurts. Just a little. I have mostly accepted the fact that I will never breastfeed and am about 99% sure that I am not even going to attempt it this time.* This is my last chance at bringing a baby straight home from the hospital and I would really like to be able to do just that.

*I might change my mind on this and try one more time to breastfeed. This is something, I suspect, will be decided when Diva 3 is born.

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Dodi February 12, 2010 at 2:49 pm

I want this for you, too!

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Rachel M. February 13, 2010 at 11:29 am

Hey there, I'm really hoping/praying for things to turn out "your way" this time. I had a nicu baby and know from experience the nicu nurses are only concerned about the baby, have no qualms about locking you out when they have an emergency and sitting on a hard rocking chair – after giving birth – and bonding with your child is horrible. I'm really hoping for the best for you as well as myself when I reach that point mid-summer.

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