Dimly in my peripheral vision.
It’s constantly there but I don’t always notice it.
I’m just so used to it being there and I would certainly notice it go out.
It’s a constant reminder of what was. What could have been. What is now.
A constant reminder that I was pregnant five times. A constant reminder that two of my precious babes never felt the warmth of my chest, the touch of my lips on their foreheads or the security of my loving arms.
A constant reminder of the three beautiful girls that we are raising.
I don’t blog about infertility or our miscarriages like I once did. Life has moved on in such a good way that I don’t feel that agony or pain anymore. I’ve not forgotten and sometimes tears spring to my eyes when I remember those days from so long ago but life has healed my hurts and my heartbreak.
And I don’t think about the alternative. There is no need to anymore. No reason to dwell on what if we never…
Because we did.
But it doesn’t mean that we don’t talk about it out loud. We do.
And we remember.
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month and we remember the babies born sleeping, those we carried but never held, those we held but could not take home, those who came home but could not stay.
