When I am rocking a fussy toddler, I have to remind myself that this is just a season. She sleeps on me but when I lay her in her crib she wakes with a start and a scream. She cries uncontrollably and I think, “why won’t you just go to sleep.” I pick her back up and sit down in the rocking chair, again.
I’m tired and there is a mountain of house work that needs tending to. I want to relax or watch TV. Maybe I had hoped to call a friend or tend to some work that needs to be done by tomorrow. I wanted to sit and talk with my husband or visit my blog and write. Maybe… I just wanted some time to myself.
Then I feel her breathing settle into a steady rhythm and I find myself staring into an Angels face. Sleeping and content. Not a single worry in the world. I am her world. Sitting there, rocking with her, I am all that she needs. All that she wants or even cares about it.
Then I find myself thinking that this season will be over before I know it. Before I am ready to let it go and so I kiss that sweet forehead and rock her a little longer.